The major issue in my house this week was time. Actually, time is an issue every week, but this week it seemed to be a bigger problem than usual. I have one kid over planning and then having a panic attack when he forgets something like his math homework. I have another kid who is oblivious that time even exists. Then I have interruptions in my own schedule. Time hasn’t been kind to us this week.
Time management and time awareness are both handled in the frontal lobe of the brain. Since this is a problem area for many neurodivergent thinkers, it’s easy to see why time is such an issue. It all goes back to executive functioning deficits that cause anxiety.
For many of the people I know on the Autism spectrum, the problem is that they over or underestimate the amount of time a task will take. Because they are rigid schedule keepers, this causes a lot of anxiety for them and everyone around them. You’d think that these people would be experts at getting everything done on a schedule, but many of them have trouble organizing tasks. When they forget a task, something goes wrong, or they have to add things to the schedule, they panic or shut down.
The people I know with ADD/ADHD are probably best known for “time blindness” or “time nearsightedness”. The first issue is that many of them are truly unaware of time. They are always late or rushing to get things done because they are not aware of time passing. If they’re running late, it’s nothing personal. They really do lose track of time.
It took my daughter over an hour and a half to clean her room the other day. She kept getting distracted every time she picked something up. When she finally finished, she honestly believed only about 30 minutes had passed, and she was proud of herself for doing it so quickly. She had no idea how much time had really passed.
Then there’s the problem of over or underestimating the amount of time needed to finish a task. My son told his friend he’d be out in five minutes after he cleaned his room. Ten minutes later he was in a panic, the room is only partly clean, and his friend was waiting for him at the door.
On the same day, my daughter brought me a book she was supposed to be reading all week. The test was the next day, but she was sure she could read it in one night and be ready for the test. Sound familiar?
Every parent of an ADHD kid lives in fear of those three dreaded words—LONG TERM PROJECT! If the instructions fit onto one page, why should it take more than an hour or so to finish, right? At least that’s what they think. Now think of all the adults with ADD or ADHD who see a simple email from their boss and think the same thing.
From there it gets worse for everyone. What happens when you forget to put things on the schedule or “to do” list? Things fall apart pretty quickly, because organizing information also takes place in the frontal lobe…which is currently freaking out because dinner is an hour late, one of the kids just spilled lemonade on the floor, and we still have to finish homework before going to our Bible study.
So, what can we do? Honestly, sometimes nothing. Sometimes the unexpected just happens. The lemonade spills, traffic backs up because of an accident, you get sick, etc. Life happens. Focus on what you can control.
When it comes to areas I can control, I’m terrible about this one. Keep clocks in all forms clearly visible. Robyn, at HocusFocus (video below), even points out that analog clocks can sometimes be better than digital clocks because lapsed time can be seen. It makes sense though. In class I used more TimeTimers than any other teacher in the school. I literally had six kids on six different TimeTimers for six different reasons one day last year.
The other obvious tool is a planner or place to make notes and lists. It helps if everything from calendars, notes, lists, and reminders are connected, so technology can be a big help if it’s used wisely. Robyn, in the video link, gave some great pointers for us Apple users. I checked them out on my iPhone, and she’s right. See for yourself.
If you’re working with kids who are “time blind”, teach them to use the tools. It won’t change their way of thinking or take away the “time blindness”, but the sooner they start using the tools, the more likely they are to use them independently as adults.
Adults with “time blindness” may need to be introduced to some of those tools. Allow for extra time on projects. If there’s a hard deadline, set an earlier deadline to build in a grace period. Write things down and put those notes and reminders where they can be easily seen. It won’t solve everything but understanding the reality of how neurodivergent people see (or don’t see) time, can help everyone involved.
If you want a better definition of “Time blindness”, Dr. Russell Barkley’s video is a great resource.
HocusFocus
Dr. Russell Barkley
