Yesterday I had the brilliant idea for dinner, so I picked up my phone to look up the recipe on Pintrest. When I opened my Pintrest page, the first thing that popped up was a cute party game idea that would go with my daughter’s upcoming birthday party, so I saved it. Then I stood there for a few seconds trying to remember why I was on Pintrest to begin with.
It gets worse. While I’m standing in the kitchen (with the thawed meat for dinner inches from my hand) scrolling down the page to try to remember what I was looking for, my son came in and asked me to time his sprints because he was getting ready for track tryouts. No problem. I closed Pintrest, opened my timer, and we headed outside to time his sprints. Thirty minutes later I was back in the kitchen and the thawed meat caught my eye. That’s when I remembered that I had a great idea for what to do with it…I just couldn’t remember what that idea was. In fact, I still can’t remember today, but I do remember telling myself it was something brilliant.
Maybe this sounds familiar. Distractions have a way of attacking our short-term memory, but there’s another type of memory at play here too. It’s called working memory, and it’s a struggle for everyone, but especially for many neurodivergent thinkers. Short-term memory and working memory are similar, but there’s a key difference. Short-term memories are the things you just have to hold in your head for about 15 seconds. Working memory takes the information you hold and makes you work with it. There’s a video link at the end to explain the differences in a little more detail, but I think you’ll get the idea just by breaking down my experience.
Where It Started Going Downhill…
I had a brilliant idea for dinner last night. Remembering that idea depends on short-term memory. The simple act of holding on to that idea is the responsibility of my short-term memory. If I had already known how to cook the dish, my working memory would have retrieved that information from my long-term memory, and we would have had an amazing dinner. The problem started when I had to take the idea and work with it.
I know some people will blame Pintrest, but in all honestly, I’ve had the same experience with Google and Siri. It sounds something like, “Hey Siri, look up a recipe for…did I pay that bill?…Put the guinea pig down and no you can’t ride your bike in the road…what time is it?…” Usually, Siri will cut me off by telling me she doesn’t understand the question. At that point, I’ve usually forgotten what I was asking anyway. I’ve spent so much time and energy processing and responding to information that I’ve forgotten the original information.
The first thing to pop up was a cute party game idea. There are so many pieces of information related to my daughter’s birthday party that it’s overwhelming. I’m trying to keep a running total in my head of who’s coming, what supplies I still need, where people will park, and hundreds of more pieces of information that I have to remember. But I also have to work with all of it. I don’t just have to remember the number of girls attending. I have to use that number and a bunch of math skills to decide how much I need of all the food and supplies. It’s not just knowing how many cars will be coming. I have to get permission from the neighbors to solve the logistics issues related to parking. When that cute game idea popped up, I wasn’t just thinking that it was cute. I was trying to decide if I have enough ink in the printer to make the game cards and what I could use to make the spinner.
My son asked me to time his sprints. At that moment every bit of information about dinner and the party got erased from my short-term memory, which meant there was no sense wasting more energy working on it, so I physically removed myself from any reminders of why I was on my phone in the first place. Short-term memory was responsible for remembering the number of seconds for each of his sprints. Working memory did the math comparing those numbers, organizing the data, and trying to break the news to him that he might want to stick to long-distance running.
Thirty minutes later I remember I had a brilliant idea for dinner. This is where I stare blankly at the thawed meat and try to figure out plan B because I can already tell I won’t be remembering plan A anytime soon. All the other pieces of information that I’d had to work with between having the brilliant idea and staring at the meat thirty minutes later had totally erased that first idea from my mind.
I Can Relate…
Okay, I know lots of neurotypical thinkers have problems with working memory, especially if you have kids. I’m just saying that the problems are often more evident in neurodiverse thinkers, especially when there are no distractions. Working memory is something that develops as we grow into adulthood, but many neurodivergent-thinking adults still struggle with this as a child or teen would.
Neurodivergent thinkers generally have less storage space in their short-term memory to begin with. Remembering takes added mental energy. Working memory has less information to work with from the short-term memory, so it keeps having to send the short-term memory back to get more information before it can do its job. All of that quickly uses up any “extra” mental energy available.
This is why it can take neurodivergent thinkers longer to get a job done. It’s also why some students have to keep rereading their assignments or tests because they can’t remember the question by the time they finish reading the answer choices. In the How to ADHD video posted below, Jessica gives a similar example about answering questions verbally in class.
So What Can I Do?
Whether you’re a divergent thinker or not, there are some ways to help with short-term AND working memory. So, let’s get down to practical application.
- Break it down. Break tasks into smaller steps. I’ve told you about having to sit in my daughter’s room and literally hold up one thing at a time asking her where it goes. There are literally not enough spaces in her short-term memory to try to tackle everything at once. Breaking a large task into smaller tasks is just plain good advice no matter what type of thinker you may be.
- Write it down. Please don’t expect me to remember phone numbers, or events, or anything else I need to do. Just like many neurodivergent thinkers, auditory processing is low on my skills list. This is often where my best intentions collide with my limited short-term and working memory. Writing things down is a must for me and another piece of good advice whether you’re a neurodivergent thinker or a neurotypical thinker.
- Cut it down. Even after I write everything down and break tasks into smaller pieces, there are still times I get overwhelmed with distractions, tasks, and details. I’ve had to learn how to say no to people, not to offend them, but because all my physical and mental energy has been used up just dealing with the things already in front of me. Using short-term and working memory takes more energy for neurodivergent thinkers than for many neurotypical thinkers.
- Slow it down. We live in a culture that prizes busyness. Multitasking is a prized skill that many neurodivergent thinkers will never fully grasp. It takes longer to process information, write things down, and plan tasks. Rushing through any of these steps makes sloppy work at best and could lead to total disaster. If you’re working with a neurodivergent thinker, you may need to take a few deep breaths and slow down to give them time to process. Taking the time to slow down and think is good advice for all thinkers.
I may never remember that great idea I had for dinner, but I’ve taken steps like the ones listed above to help me with my short-term and working memory. Jessica from How to ADHD has a few more tips in her video posted below. If you have any comments or tips to add, please leave me a comment below. We can all learn from each other’s experiences.
