“Jesus was often busy, but never hurried. Hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.” John Ortberg, “The Life You’ve Always Wanted”
Ortberg goes on to list the symptoms of hurry as: Multitasking, clutter, not taking time to listen, inability to love, exhaustion, and aggravation at waiting.
I have to admit, I’ve wrestled with this statement over the last few days. I can think of all kinds of exceptions to this. As a mom (and, up until recently, a working mom) multitasking, dealing with other people’s clutter, constant interruptions, aggravation at the delayed obedience of my kids, and exhaustion are just part of the job. I think about first responders who spend every day hurrying from one emergency to another. I think about teachers, social workers, ministers, and really anybody whose job involves helping people, and these are common characteristics in their lives…not because of anything they’ve done. They’re just constantly dealing with people who live in hurried or chaotic lives.
It wasn’t until this morning, as I stuffed my daughter’s tennis shoes and socks into her hands and pushed her up the stairs of the school bus that it hit me. It’s not about the task or the anxiety over getting the tasks done, it’s about the relationship.
Jesus was the perfect example. That little logical side to my brain would argue that he didn’t have kids to get to school, the checkout line at Walmart, or even clocks for that matter. My sister pointed out that he had 12 disciples, which may have been a bigger challenge at some moments! However, He never got distracted by the tasks. He never got anxious about finishing a task. Jesus focused on the relationships.
That’s why He didn’t get aggravated over the repeated interruptions. When He was healing or talking to a person, it was like no one else was there. As my son would say, He “didn’t put up with line cutsies”. He took time to listen to each person and used what He heard to show that person they were loved by God. No multitasking. No aggravation.
He also set the example of getting away to rest. I’m not talking about going on vacation. That’s a task. It’s also not the ritual some people call a “quiet time” where you ready the Bible and offer a list of prayer wants or needs to God. Real time away with God focuses on the relationship, and it includes listening and loving God for who He is. The exhaustion will come if you deal with a disordered heart (yours or anyone else’s), but the ordered heart addresses the problem by focusing on their God, not on the tasks.
So what does that look like on a daily basis in my life?
I have to admit this is excruciatingly hard for me. My toes weren’t just stepped on. I’m pretty sure they were crushed. I’m a task-oriented person. I live with my “to do” list in hand. In fact, I sometimes even put a few things on the list that I’ve already done, just so I can mark them off early in the day and feel like I’ve accomplished something. And my family makes sure there are plenty of tasks on my list just to keep the house running. It’s going to be a constant battle.
Listening
The first battle is to take time to listen and love on my family. When my kids come through the door in the afternoon, taking 10-15 minutes to let them talk instead of jumping right into snacks, homework, and who’s coming over to play, makes a huge difference in their own peace. I’ve done it intentionally three times in the last week, and I’ve been amazed at the how much calmer they are. We’ve always had dinner together where they would tell us about their day, but that was a competition to see who could talk first and talk most. Separating them and really having a one-on-one conversation creates a totally different atmosphere.
I’m a terrible listener. Horrible. My husband’s career and ministry depend on his ability to listen, and I’m glad he can do it so well. I’d probably be fired on the first day…if not sooner. If I’m talking on the phone, it’s probably on speaker phone so I can finish cleaning or writing while I talk, and I miss things being said on a regular basis when I do it. Taking the time to listen to God and others without multitasking may be the most difficult battle I face.
Interruptions
The second battle is to look beyond the aggravation of the interruption to the person behind it. It doesn’t matter if I’m talking about the long line at Walmart, the accident that stops traffic, or that person who always seems to call when I’m in the middle of something (all in the last 24 hours). It’s not about the melting ice cream or the dishes in the sink. It’s about the cashier trying to keep up and provide for a family, the people standing on the side of the road examining the damage to the car (or worse), and the person who needs to be heard on the other end of the line. I have to constantly stop and remind myself that there are real people on the other side of that interruption.
Time
The third battle for me is time. It’s not that I need more of it, it’s about how I use it. I have plenty of tasks on my list and calendar, and without those things I would be a disorganized mess full of chocolate and anxiety. God’s not looking for either extreme, the perpetual Mary or Martha.
Organization is good, but how have I treated the interruptions over the last few days. It’s about my attitude over making extra dinner so the kids’ friends could eat too. It’s about making the conscious effort to close the computer while I’m talking on the phone. The only way I have the energy and any shred of wisdom on how to prioritize my time is by starting with God. Yes, that includes reading my Bible and praying, but it also means sitting in the quiet and listening or taking time to worship. That puts things in perspective and changes how I see the people behind the interruptions.
I could go on to fill pages, but you get the idea. What about you? What would it look like if you practiced putting your heart in order? It’s something to think about. If you feel like sharing to encourage others, leave a comment below.
