While many parts of the nation get snow on New Year’s, Louisiana gets fog, and last night was no exception. As we drove home from the New Year’s party at church, we hit dense patches of fog mixed with smoke from the fireworks people were shooting. During most of the trip, my husband drove about 10 miles an hour, gripping the steering wheel, and sitting on the edge of his seat.
The worst part was when we reached our neighborhood. Unlike on the highways, people in the neighborhood set off fireworks in the streets in front of their houses. So, by the time we turned into our neighborhood, the fog and smoke mix was so thick it was hard to see more than a foot or two beyond the car. My husband couldn’t even see the side of the road to pull over.
That’s when I decided to do something I’d only done one other time in my life. I rolled the window down, got out of the car, and told my husband to follow me. I found the edge of the road and began walking slowly down the side of the road towards the house. All my husband had to do was keep the passenger headlight lined up with me, and he would be on the right side of the road.
The walk seemed to go on forever as I prayed that there were no other vehicles parked on the side of the road and that I might recognize something familiar. Even with the car behind me, the fog made it eerily quiet. I began seeing mailboxes sticking out of the fog as I passed, but everything else was hidden. My husband couldn’t even make out the mailboxes. I’d like to say I was the perfect guide, but there were a few times I started walking too fast, and I heard him yell out the window that he couldn’t see me. It took a lot of teamwork between the two of us to get home.
After what seemed like a small eternity, we reached the stop sign that marked the end of our street. As we made the tricky left turn, I realized there was another car following right behind us. I didn’t think much about it because I was so focused on identifying mailboxes (and wishing my own mailbox would be the next one to pop out of the fog). Finally, I could barely see the twinkle of the Christmas lights on our house. I stood at one corner of the driveway, with sparkling lights lining the other side of the driveway.
Once my husband had pulled the car into the driveway, I felt like I could breathe again. That’s when I realized that there wasn’t one car following us, but FIVE. I watched as they continued eeking their way down the road, and I could hear several people complaining about the fog and trying to figure out how they were going to keep going.
How many times has the confusion and pain in life enveloped me just like that fog? More than I can count. If we’re being honest, we’ve all been there in one way or another. We pray for God to make our path clear so we can see the next step. We pray to be able to see the obstacles in our way. We see things from a distorted perspective, and it’s easy to become distracted. Being in those places where the next step is barely visible is unnerving at best.
I’ve experienced several times when I’ve been in that position, whispering those very prayers, and God says no. He doesn’t change a single circumstance. All I can do is keep my eyes on Him, and that’s all He asks me to do. When I follow Him, I’m not alone in the fog, and that’s really what we want and need. If we must go through it for a time, at least we won’t be alone. I felt for the people in cars behind us once they lost us as a guide. Trying to navigate without a guide can be terrifying.
I wish I could say I’ve been able to keep my eyes on God and follow Him each time I’ve found myself in those times when nothing seems clear, but I’ve made the mistake of focusing on the distractions around me instead of the person in front of me. I’ve gotten hyper-focused on the task of getting from one point to another and doing things in my own strength that I missed trusting God through those times. I’ve gotten scared and tried to run away.
The times that I have been able to focus on God as I slowly take one step at a time have been times when I’ve experienced His gifts of peace, mercy, and grace. I also found out later on that it was during those times of confusion and pain that other people were watching me to see what I would do.
I know right now I’m praying about several things that God just hasn’t made clear. I’m really not sure which way God will lead us, so my husband and I set aside time to pray and fast over those decisions as we focus on God. It’s also during times like this that I write a Bible verse that God has impressed upon me on my bathroom mirror with a dry-erase marker. Recently I’ve found some insight in looking back at some of my old journals when God was taking me through similar circumstances. Those are just a few ways I focus on God when I’m in those times when things just aren’t clear. What about you? What are some ways you focus on God when you can’t see anything else? Feel free to leave a comment below.
